Dude ! Why is there vomit with whole pieces of sushi in the shower when the toilet is not more than 2 feet away ? btw you need to chew your food better,
He's the equivalent of a body pillow and a dildo. But still funny. We have good pillow talk.
hooking up with my manager sounds like an even better idea while i'm sober.
I never thought I'd say this, but there is a life threatening amount of rumpleminz in our freezer
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I walked in on him successfully eating chips and masturbating at the same time. I don't know whether I should be ashamed or proud.
Yo plow her in the living room were all outside tommy wants to see
He bought segways. We ride them when we get drunk. Last night he ran through the sliding glass door.
Currently playing beer pong versus the girl i lost my virginity to.....and her mom
Just yelled out loud for someone to buy me a drink, 30 seconds later random guy on grindr asks what I'm drinking.
There's a 98% chance your drink will taste like rohypnol
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That moment when your fucking in an airport bathroom and forget to lock the door. That poor man...scarred forever...
i puked in the 2nd best shower and the couple fucking in the 1st didnt even pause so you might wanna hold off on that for a while
Just made a diving catch to save a handle of Fireball falling out of the car. ESPN worthy.
Omg. Tonight might be the night I masturbate thinking of a smoothie!
It's best not to have your booty call on social media. So if they post stupid shit, you still want to fuck them.
the coup got in the way of sex but inauguration day came thru we did it joe
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