you got kicked out last night because right after you said "whats up?" to us, you downed your whole vodka ton and threw it across the bar.
I wish my mouth had a period so that could be my excuse on those days I don't feel like giving head
so, is "hi, did i take your virginity six years ago and never call afterwards?" an appropriate greeting in a bar?
There's a bag in my room with garbage, a thong, fritos, and an electrical cord. I'm assuming it's yours
........yyyyyyeah that's me
they sound like some classy girls.
Hey, I don't give them daddy issues, I just take advantage of it. The real bad guy here is American parenting.
Wake up we need to beat the walk of shame rush hour
Found my id. It was in the cats litter box. Seriously what was last night.
Well I was thinking of taking him out for drinks then lecturing him about his drinking... kind of like an open minded intervention
I just found a contact in my phone named "Sam 'it Won't Fit' Wilson". No clue when or where it came from....
Right now, I'm sitting in my room, drinking beer, eating double stuff Oreos, taking bites straight from a block of cheese, and watching Anchor Man 2 trailers. Finals week at its finest
I can't decide if this outfit makes me look like a pirate. I also can't decide if I care if it does.
When you didn't respond I figured you must be busy so I'm home in my pj's 2 beers in and stoned from weed I got from my gaybours. They also gave me cake. I'm not moving from this recliner.
We celebrated Cinco the right way. We took shots of 1800 then he fucked me while Selena was on TV in the background
Yay I only have ONE giant mystery bruise from yesterday
i just really want to fuck a guy wearing lederhosen
it'll be sexier than it sounds, i promise
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