If you think im a hippy you should see these girls. They would scissor mother nature if they had the chance.
After I made out with her she fell asleep and started pooting in her sleep. Are we sure lesbians are hot? Cause that wasn't.
You cheat on me once, shame on me. You cheat on me with a white girl, it's fucking over
i'm pretty sure the only people calling it "sexting" are ones who don't actually do it
He must be back home now. He moved his box of beer from her porch to ours.
I guess it was to be expected that I was put on somebody's list called penis socket.
You look me right in the eyes and yelled "By the power of the superglue beer sword, I designate you my driver!" I almost felt honored.
and i'm going to kill you for what you did to my nipples last night. of course i want to hang out
He woke me up for a 10am bootycall. he was already drunk when he got here and when we were fucking, bagpipes started playing amazing grace outside of my window!! I love Boston on st. Patties day!!
She really is something else.
Words cannot describe what though. The best way to describe her is to say it like watching a bear and a whale have sex. You don't know why it's happening or how. But it's rather funny and you can't look away.
I walked by the two of them and mouthed "fuck me" based on there reaction I think they just came in their pants
fuck off. It's 10am and I'm drink gin and ginger ale through a twizzler straw. My life is marvellous
I am now picking what guy I will hang out with based on how many Pokémon they live near.
He fucked me for my Netflix login, I fucked him for his HBO login, and actually I think that's beautiful
She made kool-aid with tequila instead of water and rolled a blunt about the size of an Oscar Mayer hot dog. Best blind date I've ever had. I think I will love her tell my dieing day!
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