You really coming over, don't trick.
Just tipped at a bar in cheerios. Suck it.
my co-worker, his best friend who also works with us, an my baby daddy, ive turned love triangle into a retarded shape with to many sides to pronounce
Def drinking wine from a 4 liter jug at 11 am. If i call you in 20 years talking about 12 steps, please trace is back to this moment.
Can't we have real sex instead of you just thrusting the air near me?
Dying on my bathroom floor at 7 am, I would rather be eaten by a shark right now
My stripper pole led lights flash with the sound so it's awsome with music
PS- My flight is being emergency landed bc someone smuggled cats on the plane.
I mean I've only met the girl once and she was trying to slit some guys tires.
How is someone going to pee on the floor two days in a row? Fuck this place.
And by "I love him" I mean "I want his tongue down my throat.
So anyways, we returned the toilet paper and decided to use the money for taco bell and slurpees instead...
I should be in a better mood, I just went home and had a quickie on my lunch break.
I had a sandwich.
He fucked the hangover right out of me. That good.
Shelly has the weirdest luck. Dude offered her a job riding a bucking bronco and it was not porn or stripping but an actual g-d cow.
Randomize
