I'm gonna get wrecked tn I might have to keep my phone at home cause I'm sure ill send you really weird txts
Weren't you self-described as an 'arab' slut?
No?
Well my cheeks are red now
mom and grandma are in town. grandma wants to get drunk with you
can you pick up canola oil? she lives by wegmans
who is canola oil?
you're an idiot.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
wait, did i just see you litter out your window??
umm, i have a hybrid. it cancels out.
Ramen noodles and uncensored jerry springer episodes, what a nice life i have.
My parents just checked my browsing history and now think I'm addicted to porn and am a necrophiliac. 1: I know it was you. 2: You're so dumped, that shit is sick.
In case you were wondering, you weren't dreaming. I really did get stuck between my bed and the wall last night.
She kept saying I was her favorite Jonas brother, and for some reason, I was ok with that.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There is an old man sitting across from me. Phone rang and his ringtone is children giggling, I'm not safe here.
my hippie aunt just sent me some brownies with a note saying not to eat them under any circumstances until finals are over. excited.
1 I really miss college walks of shame 2 I think I may have killed this girls cat
He referred to his penis as "a gentle giant" and said I had offended it
I don't want the fire department to come out here twice in one weekend because of your god damn vape.
Xanax, wine, and giving the neighbor blue balls. How about you?
Jesus, it’s Tuesday morning! Not back stage with Motley Crew
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