We just made watching Intervention into a drinking game. We drink everytime someone does drungs.
so I have this game called 14 beers left. and we both have to drink 7 before we leave
heey were did you guys go? last time i remember seeing you i was throwing up in the fountain
just threw up on dog. broke microwave with cheese and spoon. having a bath with my barbies singing final countdown.
before you ask yes i found the absinthe under your bed. ITS THE FINAL COUNTDOWWWWNNNNNN
just looked in the mirror, I fell asleep with a face mask on. At least drunk me cares that much about the condition of my skin
the welcome home hickey he left on my boob is really gunna put a damper on the rest of my thanksgiving hook up plans with the rest of my ex's
Walked back to my room from the bus last night and all I see is 3 of my friends on the porch chugging whiskey and then throwing up in unison
Please collect your boy friend. He semi-passed out on the couch and trying to grab bums as people walk by. Anyone's bum, he's not choosy.
Fun thought: I realized the thing I miss most about him is dixie kong's double trouble on his super Nintendo. It's possible that I don't have a soul.
I fucking hate tequila. Tequila makes me hate pants.
So here's my pathetic thought of the day: what does it smell like to be sober?
I hate men. But I love dick. You see my problem?
The moment when you go to plug in someone else's phone in your car and your lube is in the way. Don't mind that it's just my center console car lube. Normal.
She's not allowed to do acid anymore... she started crying because she thought she was an eagle.
How'd things go with that guy last night?
He threw up in the consol in my car then started crying about his ex girlfriend.
Randomize
