coke and sex party at dan's
im watching greys anatomy with megan...
wha-pishhh
high people should be assigned attendants
I love him. He's like the father I never had that I kind of want to fuck.
I just want to make mistakes. Like stds that go away with antibiotics mistakes.
There was just way too much discussion about my penis at that party
Bjs on a first date are the gateway to getting to know someone for who they really are.
The universe is cradling this hangover like a gay couple cradles their newly adopted chinese baby.
He went snooping and now he's all intimidated by my super amazing box of sexy time toys.
Please stop calling it that.
So, left this guys house wearing a #1 Grandpa shirt and I think this is the best sex score I've ever had.
He interrupted me giving him head to ask if I were hungry, because he wanted to eat pizza. Wtf.
I have hobbies that aren't destroying myself and others...i can make hats.....
Hey so I got my period
Thank god I wasn't ready to deal with sober you for 9 months
answer honestly do you think i can make a bloody mary with ketchup????
so i went to the bathroom and my thong was on sideways... i guess that solves the mystery
I woke up in a warehouse with the words “Property of Adam” written on my chest in frosting.
Randomize
