dude, despite what happened last night, I'm not gay
its sad that the first thing i assume is that ur trying to indirectly tell me you fucked on a breakfast table
by asking you if you bought one for the apartment?
He was like an evil genius with the clitoris. I don't stand a chance.
is it too early in the day to continue our conversation about penis shapes?
Yeah I hope so. Definately just saw two freshmen in very authentic togas and cotton ball beards. This new class is stepping it up.
No its cool, because I bought a handle of tequila earlier, in case things went south
I have no valid justification for peeing in your kitchen, but I don't think it's worth breaking up over.
I'm drinking and throwing an enormous tennis ball at children. I couldn't be happier.
Neighbor who got arrested at 3am just said he'd split the $ with me if I testify as the witness in his police brutality trial. He was also holding a baby and a case of beer.
Boys that pee in my bed don't get happy birthday wallposts on facebook
Cause its not a drunken adventure unless someone ends up in a pool
When / where did the additional couches appear?
Additional?
James brought one with him when he showed up. Theres still 2 outside and according to facebook, at least one more burned up.
I'm not sure what step "make amends" is, but my phone is on
Couldn't finish, so she gave me "the tap," and I had to leave the mound early. Nothing worse than the long walk back after the manager comes out and asks for the ball.
So i came so hard i almost passed out, where has this vibrator been all my life?
Randomize
