Did I miss anything?
A gay irish pirate, a caveman and hunter s tompson.
so we also did drugs
So i think we're being coned into a threesome with the promise of pokemon
Either she got face surgery at midnight, or i need to stop drinking...
Dear drunk me, don't shave my balls til you're sober. My junk looks like a pomeranian with mange.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well, of course, to the untrained eye I look like a slut.
Drunk tip #47: Its better to overestimate how many plastic bottles itll take to urinate in, rather then underestimate.
An there's a little girl across the bar eating Mac n cheese... #1 she won't stop looking at me. Boo bitch I'm drinking alone. #2 I'm about to tackle her ass for that Mac n cheese.
Please warn me if you ever end up in porn, cause I don't want to stumble across that on accident, okay?
I was just tryna bring you beer girl. I should've known you'd be shirtless though
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I fell asleep in the bathroom during my mothers dinner party with no pants on. Her friend walked In. I was told to not come back.
I drank too much tequila. I'm hyperventilating. Send help. I think I slipped through satan's asshole.
So changing channels while she's on top is frowned upon. It's back to thinking about baseball again.
I think I had Hypothermia but was too drunk to notice.
Woke up at 8am and asked if she had coffee.... She handed me a shot of tequila...
Guuuuurrrrrl! He ate the 🌮like it contained the Covid-19 vaccine!
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