when she said she would show you her other bow, she ment she wanted you to bend her over and see the tattoo on her lower back you idiot
The only thing I have to prove last night happened is a fireman's hat full of puke.
he said no girl had ever swallowed his cum before
he probably also told you he thought u were pretty
he forgot there was a midterm today. i watched him break his own finger to get out of it.
He's just a really nice guy who stuck his tongue in the wrong place.
I only feel half bad for cheating on him because while we were fucking I was given great relationship advice and now I'm ready to work some things out.
Skip school. Seven hour blow job Plus Disney movies. Day of champions
Nothing quite says Coachella like me doing high yoga in the middle of a field by myself
So I paid for the taxi using pennies and hair clips, no need to thank me.
Look if 10 am was too early to go barrel tasting the winery would not be open.
Is the booze for tonight or the apocalypse?
Both. Pregaming the zombie party and hurricane sustenance.
You know, we cock-blocked like 5 people last night. It's like we're her vagina goalies
What the fuck i just wanna eat my froot loops and sext in peace. Y'all motherfuckers gotta be loud as shit and break my concentration
Hey, is this going to be a real date, or am I just meeting you at a hotel to have sex in the bathroom? Given our history, I think it's a fair question.
just learned i can hear my fish chewing his food WHILE HES IN HIS BOWL. im going to have to call you back.
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