What's proper 1 nite stand etiquette?
Say hi to his dad and make him some breakfast.
Sandra Bullock looks like the most recent Michael Jackson
Update. It gets worse. A) he's done viagra and B) he wears socks at all times.
he told me my vagina needed a tic tac
Just got back from my 9:00 am class to find my roommate soaking her lifesaver gummies in vodka so she can have them for a snack in class later.
I woke up to him eating me out, listening to classical music.
She pushed me over. She offered me a shot from her tits. We're good now
Guy hitting on me at bar is guy who's Craigslist ad we laughed at the other night. Not even kidding.
Based on your 5AM twitter activity I gather you found MORE FREE COKE??
You didn't try to help me when I fell on the dance floor. She brought me cupcakes. You're a shitty friend, suck your own dick.
you said I shouldn't try to fill the void in my meaningless life with dicks but i am trying and it totally works
This medicine is making me nuts. I just woke up and I thought I was in a glass case with Asians staring at me.
He's a doctor now.. hope he can cure his small dick
Guys I ate pizza off the fucking ground of the cab. I am the worst type of person
I told him I might be pregnant and he said he'd buy me a test and a twix bar. I'm marrying him. Tomorrow.
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