sitting in my room eating a boneless rib tv dinner, and listening to taylor swift's love story, and i sharted. had to finish the ribs and hear the end of the song before i went to the bathroom to wipe.
You know, sometimes I seriously doubt your commitment to sparkle motion.
do you think women who transgender themselves have the option of getting a circumcised or an uncircumcised dick?
I just saw two girls throwing up in the bathroom. they were high-fiving under the stall...
Does the whole "it was New Years" excuse apply this year?
French people screaming and throwing stuff out the window. We told the manager and he's pissed and going up there. This is gonna be like cops. Maybe better than cops.
ALL CAPS CUZ ITS SERIOUS SHAME.
I can only get completely wasted and hungry two more times and then we're out of fritos.
You were talking about masturbating on the phone then said you had to go because golden girls was on then you called me back saying you seen that episode already.
we are still finding bottels filled with his pee. tom almost drank the one in the frig
I made her orgasm until she cried. Four years of only having sex with dudes and I've still got it.
Based on my body hair location, my ancestors had very cold hamstrings and very warm chests
I feel like I beer bonged a ton of asbestos
Accidentally made a straight guy question his sexuality again. I really gotta watch myself.
I knew you were on something when you said you were a puppy and you ate all the frosty Paws dog ice cream which says not for human consumption right on the side of it.
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