took him home. told him i would rock his world. passed out. a for effort f for follow thru
You took all of my sister's dolls and threw them out the window and then you started talking to her etcha sketch and mr. potato head. I later found you passed out in front of Toy Story and it all made sense.
Meh. I'll learn enough German to ask her for a handjob, then I'm out
You never cease to amaze me.
I just followed a trail of feathers and glitter to class. Today better be fucking magical.
She woke me up, whispered "I like the size of your dick", kissed me, and rolled over and went back to sleep
He must be back home now. He moved his box of beer from her porch to ours.
I never want to hear the words 'my therapist says . . . ' while naked again.
"too many" and "free shots" never belong in the same sentence
We just took turns doing keg stands. 27 is way too old for this. Out of 5 of us, our best time was 9 seconds.
Naked Twister starts at high noon
Coming to you live from the floor of my office..
I don't remember what you were saying to me in the bathroom. But whatever it was, yes, because i remember nodding a lot.
I paused the movie when the delivery guys arrived, and while they were assembling the bed, one of the guys pointed to the tv and said "why so serious?" And it made the whole experience happy.
The spirit of America is being too hungover to celebrate America right?
I'll do my best. he just keeps yelling beer and doing dick helicopters
Randomize
