what the fuck were we smoking when we had a conversation about how my brother would be so proud if i fucked an orange alien?!?
Whyyyyy do my fingers smell like Chinese food.
You said you didn't deserve to walk so you started crawling down to your room
He choked me out. i woke up to poo. I dont think i like S&M
I love drunk self when he leaves a prepacked bong for the morning... in the bathroom.
Well I squeegeed the puke off your arm at the gas station
I just want to see him this morning so I can bask in my wasted accomplishment.
I think my staff loses a little bit of respect for me every time you're in town. I may have to puke at work ...again.
He just kept repeating "not with an octopus" over and over for hours. Soooooo Porn Dare was a succes.
Its okay that he doesn't remember you, he only remembers girls by their boobs and I think you were wearing a jacket
Like the friend zone has no room for winks
How can you tell that you're blacked out ?
You can feel it in your nipples.
sorry for any reference made toward your boobs or making you feel pregnant or incapable of peeing. make it a wonderful day.
You left me with 12 red bulls and a bottle of vodka. What did you expect?
Thanks for driving us home last night. Also, blanket apology for anything I may have said/done. I blacked out sometime near the t-shirt cape incident
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