Why is half of me covered in green stuff that won't come off?
You stripper-danced on a light pole in the quad. It had fresh paint on it.
O no, u 2 are dating again?
No. I just masturbate furiously to his picture
I caught myself masturbating while watching a baseball game today. It was over before I realized what was going on. And then I was just confused.
Flying to Orlando on the 7th is cheaper than the 8th by like three margaritas.
im keeping my plan b box as a souvenir of my first halloween weekend in college
she met some random, took his vcard, peed in his bed, left, and then requested him as her boyfriend on facebook
Today was my first day of hebrew and I learned how to say give me sex... I think I can quit now
What if our hands were octopus tentacles?
You're an idiot.
All I know is that every time I looked at my glass it was full again and I thought it would be rude not to drink it
Allow me to explain. Triple D is a surprise. It's like if you're expecting to fight one person, then you get ambushed by more. Except it's a good ambush, because it's boobs, not death.
Just screamed wow while using my vibrator.. new low
He got me off while watching hockey. He's a keeper.
I'm going to smell of sex and shame.
How is that different than any other Monday night?
Haha holy fuck. i dont remember much after pissing on your ex's flaming nude pics.
You walked right into the door. Even the door guy and security guys were laughing.
Randomize
