Yeah she is in it for the money, wait til she finds out i am broke and the sex doesnt get better
Wow thanks 4 throwing jello at me an yelling who invited that guy to all the guys at the bar
So if you want this MFM threesome thing to happen the other guy is here and willing
Results of pregaming honors college basketball social: 18 points, 3 blocks, and 3 flagrant fouls leading to 2 broken bones on former valedictorians. I'm doing this more often.
If drinking before honors events and injuring our universities brightest doesn't get you kicked out of the program, you're not trying hard enough.
Pissed along side the highway while waving at all the traffic... if thats not a sign of a productive night to come then idk what is
I'd say I'd distract him, but I lose my psychic powers when guys get girlfriends. And by psychic powers I mean taking off my top.
Beer and cheesecake and spinning in cirlcles why did you let me do this to myself
Who was the person who brought the rooster when they won @ beer pong
You know you're hung-over when you're smoking and have the strong urge to eat the cigarette. No more buckets of gin. No. More. Ever.
He said the pain stops when I get my shit together and stop being a drugged out alcoholic mess. Could have just said no.
I think I ingested my vampire fangs last night.
Being sober is boring. Tomorrow I'm def bringing wine and my vibrator to work. Might even booty call that hot guy on floor 5. Making the last week at this job legendary.
I thought my neighbors locked me out of the building. Then I remembered I was drunk. PUSH AND TURN.
When Pitbull's songs sum up your life... you know it's time for some serious life changes.
He told me that after two hours of fucking he feels as though his dick wants to detach from his body and go to Mexico..
Randomize
