And then he said "I can't get blown while Gordon Bombay and Mr. Holland stare at me from the TV"
During sex she told me I could do anything I wanted to her. You remember that toy lightsaber we bought at Wal Mart?
its a sex-hate relationship...no love involved
we found her in my closet eating a clove of garlic.
If this outfit doesn't get me pregnant tonight I don't know what will...
Just fucked in a kitchen. I never want my penis that close to knives, stoves, or blenders ever again.
Just used my flashlight app to find a gummy lifesaver I dropped on the floor
I like how you're utilizing your resources
You cried for a while then lifted lots of weights then cady's ex put glitter on your tits and then you took a nap. I got you pizza and brought you home. Nothing too exciting.
I feel like a drive thru vagina
Well shove his head down there and tell him not to stop til we have a new president!
I don't know where I keep finding these guys, but mi power bottoms es su power bottoms.
Oh lord. I have no recollection. I just got up. Surveying the damage. Found phone with messages out by pool. Still have not located my top or determined when i stopped wearing it
Getting paid in weed to watch a pregnant adult with cooking skills is the TITS
Dude I woke up with a handprint shaped bruise on my ass, a pong ball in my cleavage, and somebody else's gold chain around my neck. Who's house am I in?
had more orgasms than hours of sleep last night
Randomize
