this is a family affair. You're an embarrassment.
whatever it's not my family
We have nothing in common but the sex rocks, would it be awful to develop a drug habit just to have a topic of conversation?
At dinner I grabbed his hand and he screamed "mom she just grabbed my penis" the proceeded to shove my hand down his pants! Hello Mr.Dick!
I dont know if he should be happy or mad about it but he's too big for a blow job.
By the end of the night i was making legitimate noises not just saying moo.
Don't be offended. I can't even stand sleeping next to my dildo after I'm done, let alone a whole person.
After I gave him a handjob for a half an hour he told me I should be a taxidermist. I'm gonna take it as a compliment.
I can affiliate each flavor of Copenhagen to a different one night stand. I really love Texas.
Just did an entire nights worth of bar crawl in an hour. Boom
the bar didnt serve shots so jim ordered us jaeger neat. it worked.
I brought ur friend Scotty home... He started rubbing my crotch then fell down and passed out in front of the microwave
The plane down was full of newly weds and I counted 5 pairs of mile high club members. Actually, one might have been a group membership discount.
It hurts to hear and I can smell shapes.
HEY JUST FOUND A SHIT TON OF MONEY IN THE PURSE HE SENT BRB GONNA GO BUY ME SOME MALE STRIPPERS AND BATHE IN THESE TWENTY DOLLAR BILLS
we've dated a week and made out twice. he is taking it slow. but his body is stupid sexy. just want him to stop respecting me and fuck me like a gutter slut. respect me later im not getting younger.
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