i was looking up hair salons in ithaca for the wedding and one is a hair salon/ sake bar! you can have sake or champagne while you get your hair done!
question, how would one sake-bomb while getting hair done without getting a horrible haircut?
We were so bored at work tonight that we were in dry storage taking turns pouring the boxed wine we use for cooking into each others' mouths. I think I'm starting to understand the "problem" aspect of "drinking problem."
it's a girl!!
That's great, I look forward to meeting her in 18 years
Is it weird that I found myself thinking of that blue chick from Avatar while she gave me head after the movie?
I woke up after 12 hours of being wildly intoxicated, got jizz on my face, and woke up in a different bed than I passed out in. My makeup is still perfect. I'm writing Revlon a thank you note.
Just looked at my outgoing calls. Seems I had a 7 minute convo with my 10th grade english teacher at 2:56 am Saturday...
I'm sure that's not what the inventers of the Turkey baster had in mind, but that's what I had in mine.
If im still in the bathroom puking when the sirens go off please distract the cops.
He was a bulldog and my face was like rare meat. Never again with the drunken ones.
I dont know what we smoked last night but I woke up and found out I started writing a book called White Trash Princess. Its the best thing Ive ever read
The ketchup exploded, and totally splooged his face and the wall. You could see the outline of his head in the wall splatter.
You were so drunk that you didn't even notice when I switched out your shot of jäger for a shot of maple syrup...before or after you drank it.
This dude has batman tighty whities on over his cargo pants and he has the nerve to yell "fuck you bitch" up at my window.
I enjoy the company of your penis
Just woke up next to a hungry lesbian and a half eaten croissant on my stomach. Can you come get me?
Randomize