No, I'm talking to this Chinese girl. Can't understand a word she's saying, but i think i caught the word vagina a few times.
Fat chicks shouldn't bartend
Just found out that wake n bake is not one of the 7 habits of highly effective people..
There are about 5 pictures of my dog taking a dump on my camera and 20 of Brandon taking one for "comparison" reasons.
I lost my keys but found four buffalo wings in my pockets
I love shooting for the middle. Those girls never wake up well.
no dude free pina colada`s taste like what I would expect my penis to taste like except gay-er.
well... I just junk punched a carnie. Doesnt matter how, it still counts for my bucket list.
You lifted he top layer off his birthday cake and made it say 'eat me' in the cookie monster voice so yeah he knew.
Is it acceptable to have my intern get me pedialite and plan b?
It's a learning experience. She can add to her resume that she cured her bosses hangover and poor decisions
Just saw the mall santa roll by on a rascal scooter holding a chic-fil-a milkshake and stop to chat up trio of cute 20-somethings. New hero.
I gave his daughter swim lessons and in exchange he sold me an ounce. I feel so accomplished.
I believe in your delicious
also I was promised more toga parties by popular media
he was wearing a pyjama shirt under a dress shirt under a hoodie under a robe under a rain poncho the man was prepared for anything
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