i forgot to tell you that olivia sent me a text yesterday that the mormon girl got caught with weed in her vagina at school
jusi got death stares at taco bell because I asked if Denise was working.
just found a sign outside my brothers door "not going to church, don't even try" and he is covered is vomit in his bed.
I wonder if i passed any courses from last semester
She told me I reminded her of the fair. And she wanted to deep fry my dick and eat it.
we went to get a refill in his room and ended up having sex and passing out. then he woke me up with sex and gave me a beer for breakfast. i never want this to end
Once two people had broken bones it had become a bulk hospital trip so we took the party bus
SORRY! Pervert came out for a bit. BAD PERVERT! BACK IN YOUR HOME!
Random question, but did I leave a spoon on your dresser last night?
When she sees your dick for the first time, tell her it glows blue when orcs are close
The cop left me alone after I gave her my spare snow cone. It was a hot and humid day and that uniform looked stuffy. Yay stoner me for overindulging in icy treats.
Nothing like coaching 5 year olds with a bunch of visible bruises from last night's drunk bondage sex.
Well I walked the wrong way for a little bit and I don't remember if I fell asleep or not but I definitely laid down under the over pass for a while
Also, do you think i could get away with finishing my vodka cranberry from last night at work if i put orange juice in it? Serious question.
Let's stay in this weekend and play drinking games to the Winter Olympics.
As long as we can drink anytime we see a stray dog, mafia looking Russian or double toilet.
Randomize
