I'm not a real person
I'm sorry, everyone knows that
Just found a shot glass and plan b in my backpack...
Im guessing the shot glass is for plan c?
I think we need to stop being best friends, its not good for our vaginas.
Omg calling you in 10 to update you on who I peed on last night
The bottle I was drinking out of splintered on the bottom, there was glass in my hand, I pulled it out with my teeth... Not the best night for Drunk Kevin
We really have to stop convincing people tazing is the cool thing to do.
also, I heard you can donate your eggs for like $8gs....hellloooo mediterranean vacation. thank youuuu future babies!!!
I just smoked weed out of a baked potato.
You rock my world.
id one day like to live in a world full of emotionless and wonderfully fullfilling sex...
I mean I'm not gay but a hundred bucks is a hundred bucks
Well sure, my hetero side is thrilled, but my gay side is soooo judging
I don't like pregnant me. I eat very large burritos, I don't like having sex and I can't even finish a Blue Moon.
Potholders are an underrated garment. Especially naked.
are you the reason the first floor girls' bathroom smells like weed?
Ugh. All the good hoes are in their third trimester.
Randomize
