Send those Picts to my email please. From last night
Ps thx for the porn on my phone
;) ur welcome
she danced around my room naked waving around the gold trojan magnum condoms singing "i have the golden ticket."
little did she know i was taping her the whole time.
Way too hungover to be taking this many family pictures
Just when I thought this night couldn't get any worse, my dad sang and dedicated Sexual Healing to me at kareoke night.
did the walk of shame through a baseball field. .A little league game was going on. Proceeded to buy a hot dog at the concession stand. the looks were priceless.
you started putting condoms on anything with a point, then you were yelling at the lamp for using your last condom...
Nahh. Maybe not even a handful. It's more like a heaping teaspoon worth of dick.
I paused mid sex to tell him I wished I'd taken up barrel racing so I could ride better.
I can already see the regret in her eyes. Amazing night. This city rules.
Today's psa: there are certain parts of your body you shouldn't scratch while wearing fake nails.
you just tore your cootch a new one, didn't you?
What is the acceptable way to offer a trade of sex for a few hours of body heat?
Definitely ended up doing Coke with Chewbacca in the porta potty behind the haunted house.
we are currently pregaming for our walk to the liquor store.
step one: admitting you have a problem. complete.
well, i found him passed out on a picnic table two miles away with a lit cig in his hand...he had a rough night
We had an argument over whether or not she had super strength. She settled it by dragging me to the bed room and throwing me on the bed. Then forcefully fucking me. She won the argument.
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