Hard to imagine a reason apart from blow jobs that I'm awake at 530 am.
She told me she was a cowboys fan... I told her it was a waste of a perfect set of tits
I don't know how much more of summer my liver can take.
I like when I have the chance to say normal things like 'I know her from college' vs 'I did a ton of blow with her one night at Studio B.'
Warning: at some point today you will probably see several pics of me 69-ing a blow up turtle show up on facebook. Just disregard them.
Between the hair pulling and the choking its its more like combat than sex
Sorry I have an "Operation Iraqi Freedom" fantasy
If we ever start off with margaritas for breakfast and end up naked covered in olive oil...I could think of worse ways to spend a day.
I'm having salsa con queso and a leftover half-drank/flat red bull for breakfast. Nothing you propose doing today would be a downgrade.
I should start wearing my Batman shirt more often when I drink. Good things happen. All sorts of shit.
Sex followed by chicken and waffles... Hands down my favorite morning plans. Count me in.
The twitch Bob Ross stream is the happiest little hangover cure ever.
I have like three friends I don't have sex with, what did you expect
It was all good until his cat started licking my nipple along with him
Ur betting me $100 that I can't do ur sister?
He went down on me and then made me breakfast in bed. He's a man you can bring home to mom.
Randomize
