I'm think I may have given your ex's number to a convicted sex offender.
Win!
remind me next year to leave the 19 year old girl at home when you're going to pride. total cock block
walkin home..,.jsut saw the cheshire cat
watch out for the queen of hearts
fuucck i forgot ab her
So can I buy you a drink sometime?
Sure, but make it a double, I'm drinking for two these days.
Sooo, drunk me had the sense of mind to write down everything that happened last night.....I bet you thought you'd get away with what you did to my parrot.
a girl is trying to cook hot pockets in a saute pan on the stove.
You were so hammed, you asked your buddy in Economics to plot a demand curve for Parmesan Cheese.
I just don't get it. Video games don't suck his dick.
He yelled "juice on the loose", yes i am sure i need plan b
Was I holding a cat when you saw me? Because that was the height of that party for me.
I think Vodka is my favorite. Everything else ties for second.
we got kicked out of the bar last night for sneaking into the back kitchen and eating handfulls of cheese in the walk in fridge
We had to go. She called the bartender a thundercunt.
Despite how often it occurs, I have absolutely no interest in having sex with myself
It took me twenty minutes to read that sentence.
All I said was okay...
Randomize
