ps i'm pretty sure i was blacked out when we hooked up? good thing i was w. you and not an actual diddler or an organ harvester
Hahaha. Shut up you were blacked out my ass. U were str8 mixin it up with urs truly like it was ur J-O-B
problem. drunk. stepbrother hitting on me again. help.
seriously iPhone. stop autocorrecting all my fucks into ducks. you're making all my strong worded texts look harmless and adorable.
i can juggle bunnies
cool
on fire
i'm going to be honest, my vagina smells.
You think the Elephant Man ever tried to pick up chicks claiming all his appendages were elephant-sized?
sometimes in life you just needs hand puppets
I'm done trying to be a vegetarian. My vagina smells like hummus.
and then you made a playlist that was just "party in the usa" on repeat...
never trust anyone who drives a pt cruiser.... write that down
You know where a good place to spend summer is? In your head. High as shit. It doesn't matter where you are.
Idk I was embarrassed that I hit it too hard so I played it off by spitting out bong water like a 'whales blowhole'
I wanna snuggle with you as we feed each other chipotle burrito bowls and that's just where I'm at right now
Wake up. Smoke. Masturbate while eggos cook. Go back to bed. Smoke. Body spray shower. Beer with breakfast. Class. Morning of a champion.
I forget how to act sober
Randomize
