I'm not looking forward to the waking up early part. Or actually the wedding part. Or the reception part. But I am looking forward to the meaningless sex with some random guy I meet at the reception part.
so we told my parents we were going trick or treating. got high as shit at some playground. and then bought our own candy so we looked legit when we got home.
I know you didn't add your TWO random hook ups from the weekend to your FB friends AND change your status to "Good Catholic Girl" on the same day.
We can smell you smoking weed from downstairs and your little brother is asking why the upstairs smells like gasoline. Please smoke in the basement. XOXO dad.
I left my toothbrush at her house. This is getting way too serious for me.
you started introducing us as kentucky and gentlemen
Think they will judge us if our pre drink is a kiddie pool of jello shots?
I'm basically a mama hen. I keep them warm and let them wonder around the house. not to mention, I keep eye on them just in case the falcons around the house try to snatch them away.
I don't even know what to say right now
Within the hour, he sent me 8 texts and 4 voice memos. One of the memos was just him whistling for 3 minutes. ...It's official, I attract the crazies.
I declared today 'Have a Bloody Mary Naked Day'. Why? Because I'm hungover, thirsty & don't want to bother putting on clothes.
I don't know man. She said my cock made her promises my heart couldn't fulfill.
How my distance relationship is going: he's trying to sext me & I'm stuffing pizza in my face.
I need to stop acting like a porn star that isn't getting paid
Sorry I've been a slutty nightmare this week
I was literally so lonely last night that I stopped watching a video on porn hub and just read the comments
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