I found a dealer that takes plastic. I'm so in trouble.
why dont you just whore around college until someone loves you...thats how it works for girls isnt it?
Who would have sex with her? She looks like she shops at baby gap
haha she has always seemed a little off. when i met her i was told she was the queen slut. and she had a crown on at the time. it seemed appropriate.
Sorry the STD update turned into an attempt at a bootycall, but at least we both know we're clean now
I could barely talk to the cabbie and I was text bombing everyone. They need to make an auto timer app to prevent people like me from belligerent late night harrassing. And I was seeing double... Prob would have tried to give your leg a bj and then fallen down the stairs.
I'm remembering the time we thought it was a brilliant idea to put koolaid powder in shots of goldschlager
Totally had a conversation drunk last night with a bisexual chick at my apartment in Spanglish too.
You're a hero.
As much as I enjoyed playing drunk half naked twister and talking about my daddy issues last time, I'll have to pass.
Thanks for bringing me tea/a bucket. You have earned yourself a face touch.
I just unmatched him. If your Thirsty Thursday only consists on the gym then I am not the woman for you ✌🏻️
The house across the street caught on fire today, Drunk people high centered their car tonight. Looking out my front window I get to watch police chases all the time. I am going to miss this place.
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
where the fuck are you? she just tazed two people and we're tripping shrooms...successful first night in new apartment!
I'm gonna have to start putting baby wipes and a change of pants in my bag. The amount of times I'm scared of shitting my pants in public is too high and I need the reassurance
Randomize
