No, I'm never going to get a job bc I don't know anything about public relations except that Chris Crocker wants everyone to leave Britney alone.
Me and my dog bond so much when im high.
the line at the liquor store is out the door, and students in line are high-fiving like crazy...i love college snow days
We did however see an 87 year old guy die and get resuscitated last night at the bar. He then finished his beer and his game of pool.
Wow just saw this. Nothing like a little anal sex to ring in 2012.
And now she's hand feeding me pork rines and showing me her angry birds high scores. This is Vegas.
Sry I came all over your dress. Think of it as a Vegas souvenir.
They have 12 kegs and 40 bottles of liquor and a pool with a diving board. And hardly anyone at this wedding knows me. Should be a great night
Just consider it? What else do you have going on today that could be as awesome as a day full of lord of the rings and sex?
Just got discharged from the hospital after getting my finger stitched back together don't you dare say you had a worse night than me
I'm not sure what is worse, the fact that Hoffman doesn't sell vodka before 9am or that I was trying to buy vodka at 8:30am.
The joke is on me because whale penis is forever in my search history.
Worth it.
I said I hate kids.This dude said he will sell his children to go on a date with me.
I did something very bad. More specifically, my boss.
i forgot how loud opening a beer is in a house where your not allowed to drink
Go ahead without me. This chick is buying me drinks and just found out her husband is cheating on her. I think I just found the next level of revenge fucking: Scorned Trophy Wife Sex
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