PS the last 3 guys I've hooked up with were a CEO, a mechanical bull operator and a magic the gathering player...I need a type...
Ur type is ready and willing
this kid at 40 friday greeted another kid by saying "heeey farmville neighbor"
dude.
yep. needless to say i didn't meet anyone and spent yet another friday night masturbating.
some guy just asked me if water gets in a vag when girls take a bath. WTF. it's not a wind tunnel!
Grilled cheese and whiskey for lunch is why i should NEVER be a housewife.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just want to fall into a pit of xannies and eat my way out.
Bobbing for jello shots in a bucket of long island. Fast track to alcohol poisoning.
I don't know what part of my sober brain thought it was a good idea to get stoned when I can barely walk with crutches as it is, but that part is stupid.
A unicorn in pinstripe pants just got on the J at Dolores stop. It can only be a good night
Damn you are the highwater mark of the naked women in my life. Like idk what lined up but yeah.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I helped you wax your vagina and you won't even get me Corn Nuts you fucking bitch?
Of course that's what I'm wearing. I need to find a beard to mount and ride STAT.
Sorry, I gave half my brain to my thesis and the other half to mdma
The coast is clear - also, would it bother you if I chose not to wear pants?
Finally got with the virgin.
Yeah? Howd that go?
As soon as I got it all the way in, I looked deep into her eyes and said "your soul is mine" in the deepest voice I could make. She was not amused.
Next time I think it’s a good idea to hook up with any of your wife’s family members or friends just kick me in my dick
Randomize