shes hot in the i'd deny it if anyone asked kinda way
Did we have sex last night?
I think that was the general idea until I got you undressed and you puked on me.
based on the size of her vibrator, i'm going to be a huge disappointment
he burped in my vagina and tried to deny it...
a cabby told me that vodka is the coors light of liquor, and then gave me his number
I had to write an apology letter to security guards in the hotel so I didnt get kicked out
That moment when your fucking in an airport bathroom and forget to lock the door. That poor man...scarred forever...
So his 25th anniversary post of love to his wife was almost verbatim what he said to me last week. Does that mean I win or lose?
we managed to melt a few different forms of plastic into the cannibutter....
Stop sending me pictures of you naked. This violates the friend zone agreement.
Never let your siblings swipe right.
she chased shots of jack with a fucking steak. i'm in love.
Is it okay that we fucked on my car hood, in his driveway, at 4 am with cars passing by ?
We got really excited for country fried steak then we had sex.
And our sex soundtracks thus far have been metal and Star Wars
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