Go study a dick amy that's outrageous
I just spent the last hour spooning with my drug dealer.
You need Jesus like Tony Danza needs another hit show.
Well we ran into the cornfields when the cops got there. We'd been hiding in there for 45 mins when he asks me "So this wasn't exactly how I'd planned this but I thought I'd ask. How do you feel about oral sex?"
Her facebook status said "just got a sign from god". I texted her and apparently she found a slice of pizza in the shower.
You almost married that.
Hate to say it and even though I definitely have a biased opinion but I'm surprised your not, sleeping with anyone else. Good personality, charisma and amazing in the sack.
Feel free to use me as a reference.
His new place is a molesden. Like a hole in the ground. It's frightening how oddly private it is.
It rubs the lotion on it's foreskin...
When I was hooking up with this guy last night all I could think about was if we were in Game of Thrones... I need to stop doing drugs
Eating chips and sending nudes. This is my life.
In my top drawer right now, there are see's chocolates, condoms, weed, and my vibrator. One way or another, this is going to be a good night
Fuck him and his perfect arms, huge penis and relentless ability to ignore me.
He said I was so drunk and high that I had a conversation w/ his goldfish. The video shows me clearly conversing as if talking to a person w/ pauses in conversation and everything
What conversation warrents "penis" in rainbow comic sans
In honor of Randy Savage we're wearing spandex and handing out slim jim's with option to suplex. Get behind it
How was it?
i think i smell bacon but im to sore to walk downstairs. that kinda night
Randomize
