I really wish I could go back in time to change the course of events that led to me sitting on the internet at 3 Googling 'Traumatic masturbation' while talking to you about failed dates, and running a virtual restaurant in a video game.
If we were unicorns we would fly together. Like in a pack. A pack of flying unicorns.
would he be offended if i told him that "national coming out day" is october 11. thats subtle enough right?
JAMES WASHOMGTON STATE ATTACKED US
WE'RE FYCKED UL HARDCORW
THE REISLING ATRACEX US
I don't think he wanted to hear that my most serious relationship was my 1 1/2 year fuck buddy... I think he figured out that's where he's heading
you cant just puke in an arbys and not order food. thatd be rude.
It's the only time I've ever felt manly shitting myself
Second wind. Either that or my heart is about to explode. I'm hoping the first one.
He put himself in the friend zone by calling me dude all night so I blew his friend. Judge me.
I was a bouncer for about 90 seconds until the real bouncers figured out that I was doing their job
My dad told me to bring weed to easter Sunday dinner..
I've reached the last of the wine in my cup so now I have to sit up in my bed to get it through the crazy straw
He asked me what I wanted for Christmas. I told him an orgasm would be nice.
I had to google some of the kinky sex shit she was telling me she was into.
If that is not a reason to propose to her then I don't know what is
Now I am free. And I want to go meet men. My phone deleted all my contacts, and I consider this to be a new beginning. With a new man in my phone book.
Randomize