what kind of vibe do I give off that a guy i've never hung out with thinks its okay to send me a picture of his ball cleavage?
escape the fate? dumbest band name ever. how about escape the fart. now that is a show i would go see!
Thinking about bringing a vibrator to the tanning bed...kill two birds with one stone right?
They are chanting tits for freedom and I'm highly considering
some girl just asked me if I was that guy that hooked up with nine girls in one night. officially a local celebrity. gonna try and autograph her boobs.
she tried strangling devon with the garden hose. pretty sure they're broken up
I accidentally got a lemon stuck in your bong. I was trying to make it taste good. Sorry
Like I've never seen her that drunk. She's usually like quiet and doesn't say she'll fuck someone on a futon
Somehow she is more off limits now than when she was his girlfriend
While randomly hooking up with my neighbor last night he says "it's okay we're neighbors".
Btw, I feel the need to make sure we have no misunderstanding about this. So here goes. I'll happily mess around with you again. However, I probably won't do it while you're dressed like a creepy clown. Or any clown.
I know... It's stupid... It's like, I have sex with his brother and bestfriend ONE time....
Guess who just set half their backyard on fire.
Please tell me youre joking.
Nope. on the brightside though, im really gonna quit smoking this time.
just saw two mice fucking on our bed...i think its time to find a new place to live
i haven't seen you in two years and we have like 16 hours, all i want is cuddles, wine, and some light groping
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