all thats left of you is your magnum wrapper on my dresser
in the bathroom helping her wash cum out her eye. pretty much explains my sex life
Is there any way you can check to see if I have a warrant out in Alabama?
Absence makes the cock grow harder.
I can't be held responsible for my own vagina. Let's just be honest here.
I need to find my pants, a way out of here, and a cheeseburger.
On another note, why did I wake up wrapped in bubble wrap. I can only assume it was for my own safety
I saw Nicolas Cage's face in the moon. Those were good shrooms.
In honor of Sarah Palin's bday I suggest we watch Nailing Palin
Come to office depot with me I need help picking out a daily planner that will help me keep all of my casual sex dates organized.
Nothing says male bonding like watching porn with your grandpa
He just texted me saying "you've got a face that suggests you give really good head". Is this a compliment? Do I say thanks?
A guy just grabbed my balls before he shook my hand because he thought he knew me.
Btw there's a hedgehog in my room. Don't get it high
Ps I took your recycling out, the 9 champagne bottles, vodka bottle, and tequila bottle is how I knew it was yours
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