I dumped him because he's never seen star wars. I'm certain I did the right thing.
You told me alcohol would be the death of you then ordered 10 shots of tequila.
just looked up how to break up with someone nicely on google. glad to know im not the only one who looks up this shit.
You tried telling the RA that girl you brought home was your mom...
I stole another quarter from the bathroom. I'm slowly getting rich drinking here.
He'll choke me during sex but he won't eat a strip of bacon. Vegetarians are weird.
I really need to find a new way to reward you other than head scratches, nutella and blowjobs.
Ita all starting to make sense i need vodka like i need air
That's where the buck stops? Buying girlfriends online? THAT is where you draw the line?!
I need to get a job that holds me accountable for something. Otherwise I wake upon Monday wondering when the booze store opens and if I still have a boyfriend.
Halfway through the night I was hiding in a trashcan. Then I "sobered" up and ran around the house throwing change because I wanted to make my last moments of 2013 charitable.
I hurt myself, but I'm pretty sure I saved the carpet.
my roommate was being a bitch so I changed my Netflix password on her. 21st century slap in the face ladies and gentleman
I need my sock, sombrero, maracas, and I just heard I had a light saber, if thats the case...i want that back too
I’d clean the kitchen before making food. Mark “rang in the New Year” with some rando in there last night
Randomize
