Revelation of the day. Bulimia is dumb. Anorexia is easier.
You suck.
McDonalds has hash browns for only a quarter!....how many u want?
All of them
Its a three day weekend with Valentines day thrown in... Im obligated to get drunk
after he came i started crying. just to fuck with his head.
then again I'm sitting on a tree stump completely naked in the dark listening to some type of glee soundtrack.
The bartender just started bringing me gin and tonic in a pint glass to save himself trips...
he described going down on me as being like 'entering a jungle of deliciousness and fur
You won’t make it to November. A 21st bday and Halloween in the same night has shitshow/ jail written all over it. So I call dibs on that tall guy
Ill give you a 4 hour blow job if you make my nephew go to bed.
Chris threw beer can at guy. Guy ended up being a fighter. Chris got his eye socket broke. Fighter got hand re-broke. Chris is passed out. Fighter is in kellys bed. everybody won last night. I think.
The little girl I babysit saw pink plastic shot glasses in my car and asked what they were for and I told her they were princess teacups.
From what I can tell at a cursory glance, it seems that last night I fell asleep on string cheese and it melted into my bra.
And then I cried about the Cubs for a half hour. If my dignity hadn't already been lost by that point in the night, it sure as hell was then.
There's a man with a stuffed dog and a can of dog food on the L. Should I break it to him?
Best not to. Some people need their delusions.
I don't think it counts as a booty call at 6:30 pm.
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