Why do all fat girls have "that smell"?
she both took care of me and took advantage of me. it was BEAUTIFUL.
I feel like I'm in a bed a bagels and mistakes.
Theres a handprint of sauce on my frig, one streaked across my face, a trail of it to my bedroom and sauce all in my bed and i have no idea what the fuck i ate.
I'm gonna be a few minutes late, some asshole just fell off the ferry so we had to stop.
Well sundance is in town and Im going to use my one and only shot to bang Taylor swift... Does it count as a random if shes famous?
I haven't seen her in ages, how is she?
Well I woke up next to her this morning so I guess I would say she could be doing better
more embarrassing than that time i showed up to class in my hoodie and leggings because i over slept, and then as i zipped my hoodie down i realized i didn't sleep with a bra on or a shirt
Dude if it is ever said "everybody get inside the police helicopter just showed up.". That means it was a successful party.
The first thing we did this morning was see if we could see her barf in the prking lot from the roof. We could. It was in 5 spaces.
2 six inch heels, 3 big sangrias, no broken legs
Ims textiofg thsi woht my noes bcuz my hansd aer stli handcuffde to teh bedfrme. Help me
I mean my dick does have feeling again, which is a step in the right direction
IF THE SUNS NOT EVEN OUT THEN WHY IS HIS DICK OUT WTF
Apparently his ex was into edging and did it to him so much that it takes forever for him to cum
I hate you and your multiple orgasm sexcapades
Randomize
