There were 3 chicks in my bed I didn't know when I got home. Now I know all of them. Biblically.
so I think I'm done having sex with her, she's way too crazy
what about the blowjobs for adderall?
no those are still okay
Ate pizza for the 3rd time today, can't decide if that's disgusting or an amazing aspect of American culture.
At one point we asked the guy to play "the lion sleeps tonight" with his bagpipes. Best version ever.
I just had to download an app to edit pictures on my new phone. The things I do for sexting...
It was a cry at the bar alone type of night, served with a side of passing out facedown in my nachos.
the straight edge chick smoked with me, because according to her my bowl is pretty
Is it too early in the day to ask a nipple-related question?
He invited to drink but spelled forties wrong so no thx
I'm trying to be sexual and you're sending me smashmouth lyrics
Kick open the door, strike a pose, steal a boyfriend, end scene.
Came out of blackout state to the curtains torn down & the headboard laid on top of him. & yes he was still breathing
Got caught up in a real life love triangle. Both guys wanted me. I'm tempted to just run off with the cute girl from McDonalds instead
Please do that
I'm too picky for internet dating and by picky I mean psycho.
We left an ass print on the conference room table, but I don’t think anyone caught on
Randomize
