dude i totally did the walk last night came out of her room to see her dad sitting there straight lookin at me...wtf
did not feel like going to store to get condoms last night so went to her pantry and got a sandwich bag and a rubberband
did it work?
nope
Firetruck pulls up, fireman jumps out n knocks on my door, asks "do you know where Johnny lives?"
Haha she couldn't find her dress in the morning. So she left it. How do the hell do I discreetly return that to her at work. More importantly, how did she discreetly do the walk of shame??
My butt just had a miscarriage. It was yours. I'm sorry. You would have been a great sexually confused parent.
my mom just asked me, concerned, if I swallowed.
I just realize today that I've dated three guys this year with their own blog. Ugh that's embarrassing.
I had to stop mid sex to take my turn on words with friends so he wouldn't get suspicious. Hookup of the night helped me. We won.
I found him in the kitchen singing German metal into a banana while simultaneously mixing brownie batter. He didn't have any pants on.
There is nothing worse than the batteries of your vibrator dying on valentines day
No, next time he offers you a ride home, ask him about Batman. The result will always be road head.
She said her name is "Goose" and regardless of her being a lesbian, sometimes she just "needs a good dick"
I mean, I've had her boob in my mouth, but is that romance?
I think I've had more sex in your bed than you have and I've only been here three days
All I did today was eat pizza and use my vibrator.
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