Do you still have your period?
my phone is set on vibrate and its tucked up in my left front pocket. call me back 20 times real quick.
my little sister told my dad she found willy wonka's golden ticket in the backseat of my car. now my dad knows my boyfriend uses magnums.
She passed out on top of the bar. Still did body shots off her.
The moment you ate chicken nuggets out of your purse you were my hero.
Where the hell did i get chicken nuggets from
After much deliberatipn and vodka, my favourite phrase of Christmas 2012 is "penis of last resort"
I don't know if I want context or not...
Context involves faux incest and champagne. Id go into detail but im on shot number 5.
Also, I'm going to yoga because I have a Taylor Swift range of emotions right now.
Did u know it's unconstitutional to turn down a shot during 4th of July celebrations.. Rest now dear liver
Pedi-lyte stocked
He's so twisted that he's acting out Dragon Ball-Z by himself. The Tanquray and THC combo doesn't play around.
please come here right now, that girl who always gets her boob out is here and she brought taco bell
So I'm at home coloring while smoking a joint. It can only go down hill from here.
I got fucked in a bat mobile this morning. Being slutty rules.
i was in class looking for a pencil and found a chicken strip in my back pack. i think i might have a problem.. sad thing is i ate it
Dude she is fucking shit up. Her baby would be proud
I'm like a great zombie Jesus.
Randomize
