Question. If Kwik Trip and Kum and Go were to merge, what would they call it? Kwik Kum or Kum Kwik?
My vagina has become a graveyard for my brother's friendships...
If I don't wake up hungover in a ditch Monday morning I will consider my halloween a failure
I just bought 1/2 a fifth of vodka out of an old school baby carriage from a homeless man. Gotta love this city.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have no idea what's going on.... I just want to wear my horse sweatshirt and drink vodka.
My worst case scenario tonight is that I fuck a hot Swiss girl. Let that give you perspective on my life at the moment.
you left me with this keg alone. this is on your hands
Currently shopping online for cardboard cutouts of various horror characters. That should teach me roommates to stop taking acid on Tuesdays.
We're high and this subject came up and I'd like a female opinion: if you were a dude, what would you do if a girl tried to give you a foot job?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I sent him a pic of my tits and he said "Word." I need a drink.
She says the reason I don't talk to her is because I'm "emotionally lazy" what ever that means
He just brought a live lobster to the party.
Remember I am not doing blow tonight. I REPEATE NO COCAINE unless I do it with your mom
Bring shot glasses to the final. Don't ask questions.
I just sent a Slack that autocorrected tomorrow to gonorrhoea. Please note that Slack autocorrect isn’t very good.
Randomize