i cant decide if i should go fuck j*** or keep watching real genius
She just asked me if I was going to kiss her cat goodby too... This is why we don't stay till last call.
Can we end it on a good note at least? Can we fuck and then never talk again?
I applaud your efforts, but I have to say it was the bear we encountered that ultimately shut down the entire operation
You just kept screaming "PLEASE YELL CORNDOG AT HIM. PLEASE. CORNDOG."
Just seen a chubby version of you. Nearly kidnapped her. Perfect woman
Currently putting together my outfit for this weekend, AKA a poster board that says "I'll cook you breakfast and do all your laundry, take me home." On front and back
By talk him into it I assume you mean blow him into it.
It's a good thing he's hot, because it seemed like he was trying to do CPR on my private parts
He was going down on me and all I could think about was how proud of me you'd be
You're gonna be sprawled out basking in the sun working on your tan like a ridiculously hot iguana, and I'm gonna be here bundled up in about 72 layers just so I don't freeze my dick off looking like the Michelin man's gay cousin
i apologize, I may have called you an iguana
Mistakes were made
Afterwards he face timed like four of his friends screaming he banged the hot intern.
Ya’ll! My debit card got switched with my boss’ at lunch today (both Red Wells Fargo)....I realized it at whole foods AFTER I ran it for $100 at Vanity Room getting my vaj waxed 🤦🏻♀️🤦🏻♀️🤦🏻♀️. Most awkward IOU ever tomorrow.
Got pulled over today for going 90 in a 40 zone with my leg out of the window. Still got out of the ticket. I'm getting way too good at this. Wanna trade bodies so we can see if it's my boobs or my charm?
Apparently I drunkenly told him I was going to ride him to the rodeo and break him like a bronco, then I stole his nachos and beer. Adulting is hard!!!
Randomize
