Kareoke will never be a sober sport
You're only the seventh guy she's ever kissed. Somesones gunna get EPICALLY stalked
u think ur still drunk from last night? i just put the eggs in the freezer and the remote in the sink. I don't wanna fucking hear it.
I'm just not sure how to initiate the "do you want to have sex with my boyfriend and I" conversation
he called you a drunk bob the builder and you proceeded to explain how you were going to build ramps throughout the house
I wish I could go back in time 3 years and tell my freshman self how easy it is to hook up with freshmen
I would just watch. I wouldn't even have a boner cuz I would do so much coke. It would just be funny.
In line at the grocery store. The girl ahead of me is in a wetsuit and just bought 3 cases of beer and a bottle of vodka. I want to go where she's going...
Realistically anyone can come I don't care it's Boston what do I own boston? No. I just don't want people who are gonna give me "why are you doing that" kinda look when I take birthday shots out of my birthday babe shot glass necklace.
The upside of a losing football weekend is that there are more sad frat boys willing to let loose their inner gay man.
I feel like we need a drunken piñata bash with your face being the piñata and my hopes and dreams being the stick
just really comprehended the fact that I'm getting high at the same place I used to play as a child. the nostalgia and thc is mixing together in one, intense wave. WHO HAVE I BECOME
So why are your hands bright blue and have you seen my roommate.
Both questions will answer each other.
havent showered in 2 days. just Febrezed my balls in the car before going into a movie alone with a 40 of Guinness.there isn't a word in English for how single I am.
I had to ask my mom to look for my kegle ball...
Randomize
