Billy Mays died!
I know. And the US is beating brazil...what's wrong with the world?
I can only be a whore so many days outta the week.
Samesies
Medical school killed my enjoyment of porn. Hard to keep a boner when you're diagnosing all the actor's STDs and skin disorders.
Just saw a girl trying to crack an egg with her butt cheeks. I think I know what we're doing thursday night.
I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
My Grampa even called her out for being a cock block at the bar...it was that serious
Dwarf fight at five guys. Today was a good day.
They can't keep moving my court date back, i dont know if I'll survive another one of these going away to jail parties.
That's why I don't chug things. Because when I was a freshman in college tequila came out my nose.
Congratulations!! You are the WINNER of a brand new BLOWJOB!! You can collect your prize between the hours of 12pm and 1pm today, anywhere you'd like!!! :)
I'm in Burlington Coat Factory. This place'd be great if you were on E. There're so many textures...
I'm kinda hoping that if I rub the right object, a genie will come out
You asked me if I was judging you for being drunk, and if I can hypnotize you make sober.
Dude, we tried to feed you but you just started sobbing and ran away
Yes. Ice cream tacos are an important aspect in the bridge of friendship
Good thing he's hot and my vagina likes him or I'd be at Dennys right now.
Randomize
