i dont know why he would complain when i touch him there.
I wonder if all of the nights I blacked out will be revealed to me when I die. Have you ever thought about that?
i keep walking around campus wondering if anyone is as stoned as i am
It was confusing and full of hummus
I am wasted and people are fist pumping. This should not happen on the west coast.
So i guess i slapped the girl sitting next to me leg and said "You know what they say, got fat legs...you gotta fat BOX"
He's eating a cream cheese sandwich. He's obviously distressed.
at one point he was caressing me in the kitchen asking me my name over and over again and then asking what my favorite continent was
You better fuck one or both of those bitches and bring me pictures that will make me uncomfortable
I can do at least one of those things.
Dude, you went to another fraternity's formal as a joke and came home with one of their dates. AND you managed to get her number. Please explain to me how that's not a good night.
We've been staking out a taco bell for 2 hours trying to find last night's one night stand
Taylor Swift needs more songs about threesomes. I'm not sure she gets me anymore.
Come share oat with me in your robe
So I remember having an orgasm, but I didn't wake up next to anyone. Your dog is afraid of me. Is this a sick joke?
Why are there naked heterosexuals in my apartment?
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