its good she wears the same dress to all the weddings so we can track how fat she's really gotten
so glad i banged her when she was skinny
Well whatever you do have, it sure worked on me.
A Penis?
ah, there's nothing like waking up to picture messages of a strange man's cock. life is good.
haha, that's fucked up. flacid cock pictures are the mental breakfast of champions.
There are empty beer cans all over and the go-kart is missing. I need it for my halloween costume.
with all this snow coming, and no school, I figure why not try every possible liquor snowcone.
Nothing like hearing a USA chant while getting head. God bless America.
I got my project done and a booty call in all before 1am. I'm a professional college kid.
nothing like a walk of shame in front of a cnn news crew to start the morning off right
Got in a bar fight defending Prince. Thought you ought to know. He gets his dick sucked cooking eggs for breakfast.
In the middle of me riding him, he stopped me and said "You're the kind of person who would be restrained for being obnoxiously drunk on an airplane, huh?"
So they found him after the wedding still dressed up in his feather boa and top hat passed out in a bush...
you can't get cum all over my hair and then tell me you just want to be friends
COME AND FUCKING GET ME I AM IN SOME SORT OF JUNKYARD!!!
Pretty sure my boss knows there's Jack smell coming out of my pores right now... He just gave me a look...
it's 1:30pm and i'm eating cheese while i sext. i need hobbies
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