does wine, beer, and vodka mix well??
dude, everything can mix, this is college.
how does Santa get into Hogwarts?
you kept thanking chef boyardee for having pull tab cans
i don't care if its just a preseason game, my pick up a guy and suck him off in the bathroom skills are in midseason form
Two words. Shotgunning Cognac.
This has already gotten way out of hand
I have a boner and a quesadilla why aren't you here
we were hooking up and then he goes "you can touch my penis" and i laughed too hard to do anything. no second date.
I mean thanks for the bj but i wanna forget everything that happened last night between 11 and 5
Girl I love you like I've been drinking all day
I threw a dessert topping at a baby tonight so drink up! If you stay sober tonight I will be very disappointed in you.
He's getting Easter eggs filled with weed or Jell-O shots for his birthday
You would be successful and sober without me. you can't turn your bakon me now
How long do I have to listen to him talk about the chickens before telling him I just really want to fuck? Note: it's already been twelve minutes.
Can I just swipe right on his dad?
I've been on the cocaine and semen diet for the last 24 hours, lunch sounds great.
Randomize
