so then you didnt wanna fuck tonight right?
oops, you werent supposed to get that until you left.
I am a bulletproof tiger!
Haha. Nice, be careful tonight.
I'm gonna have to get my windshield replaced. Is the keg beat?
I could make wine with my vomit
i can't believe he got me to come over to him by waving a natty light at me.
you know its a sad night when you can actually see and hear sitcoms on at the bar
How was the bike ride?
Nope. High in the basement. Fruit cups.
I got really high with eric & scott.. they're discussing why words sound the way they do.. it's going to get messy
Shark Week. Kick off begins Sunday. The drinking game has been upgraded to include jumping/breaching sharks and Jake's not allowed to bring the harpoon. Period.
She fell down the stairs and hit her head on the concrete. Then she stood up, flashed us and stumbled away. I forgot to get her number..
He kept telling me how extraordinarily clean my ears were.
He held back my hair as I puked, then kindly asked me to slightly move my head over and pissed right next to my face.
I hooked up with a guy dressed as Wesley from the Princess Bride. I kept telling him what I wanted him to do and all he would say was "as you wish"
He fell on top of me at a party. I slept with him a week later. We've been fucking for 2 moths. Most successful relationship ever.
banged a milf last night. she left right after cause of parent teacher conferences this morning. victory.
Okay, maybe filling water balloons with vodka was not our best idea.
Randomize
