I can already tell this is gonna be one of those parties where we sit across the room and text about people.
Dude, 1 prime defect in the snuggie- you can't fuck someone discreetly under a snuggie. No way no how
tonight i'm making a christmas tree shaped shot pyramid
frozen peaches as icecubes. vodka Sundays just got wayyyy better
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
aaaannd alcoholism beats pride. it's like grown-up rock, paper, scissors
We were sexting and then the radio announced robert pattinson would be playing kurt cobain in a movie and it totally killed the mood
He referred to his cock as "The cock" like it was third party or something.
If i theoretically had to put an iv back in what do I need to do?
She kept crying and asking why I couldn't look more like Dennis quaid.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So we'll go out later for condoms and cake batter... aka grocery shopping for champions.
Man, I wish they all looked like that. Your vagina deserves to have a nice frame around it, and God's signature at the bottom.
Not after That Night. No. I hate tequila. And it hates me. Very mutual hateship going on.
You asked the bartender if she was trying to get you drunk. She cut you off after that.
He said that he made a girl squirt to the ceiling and I got curious
What’s the level of adulting when you reschedule a dentist appointment to have a threesome?
Randomize