her name is jenna, so i wanna cunt punt her
that's how i am about ashleys and britneys
we were so desperate we resorted to lego blocks. nuff said.
i woke up surrounded by junior mints. not to mention, there was a huge pyramid of natty cans baracading the door shut. this is why i can't drink alone.
Tuesday night just isn't my ideal coke binge night.
any interest in drunk sledding later? if not, any interest in driving me to the hospital later?
they night at the roxbarryed us. came out of nowhere,bought us shots, and then the big one licked my hand? we got out of that noise.
The intern claims someone glued plastic eyeballs to his penis last night. He going to show everyone in the conference room at 3pm. There is a $5 cover charge.
Until then we have the self affirmation from retweets and nights alone with pizza..
You overflowed the toilet cuz you tried to flush apples. you said they were singing too loudly
Seriously, dude... You knows its bad when you gag on her nipple.
I met this girl the other day and found out her boyfriend is a helicopter pilot. How the fuck do you compete with that.
I just want you to know that I think it is hilarious and wonderful that 40s are now your alcohol of choice.
Looking through my moms phone and find a pic if a dick. Scarred for life.
Between the deep breathing and nipple piercings , I thought I was in the twilight zone
He was shirtless in my yard saying he was jesus
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