she claims you yelled BOMBS AWAY when you came. tell me she's lying
but she didn't tell you i squeezed, built up pressure, and napalmed her face as i yelled it, did she
woke up and her hair clip was clamped around my shaft
i recognized the place by the puke stain i left on the pool table when i hooked up with his roommate.
If i come home from court on friday.. i'm definitely doing something illegal.
I made my rape whistle into a roach clip device. FRESHMAN YEAR!
You just kept insisting that you and the homeless man went way back, and that you bonded over how cold you both were.
i think I'm just gonna buy a new vibrator, body pillow, some guys cologne to spray on it, a life time supply of wine and weed and be done with all this shit
I just sit in the cubicle for 8 hours and do keagles.
He walked into the pizza shop... Pulled the fire alarm.. And proceeded to dance to it...
Is "You've never made me cum." an acceptable breakup line?
Currently rolling a blunt in the bathroom of Planned Parenthood
dollar rum and cokes, see you on the dark side of infinity
I have just discovered the land of milk and honey. and by milk i mean vodka and by honey i mean tequila.
I just got baptized.
Drunkenly skinny dipping in a indoor hotel pool is not okay and does not count as a baptism.
I'm just going to use my debit card. I feel bad buying pizza with the money I stole from my roommate...so I'm going to put it in my piggy bank.
Randomize
