Yeah i mean there's 3 guys fighting over me. It would just be bitchy of me not to get with at least 1.
woman puking in liquor store parking lot at 9:30 on a tuesday morning = best commute ever.
boy from dating site added me on facebook. i don't know if i'm ready for him to see what a drunk i am.
stripped for him at 3am on my childhood playground and used the swing set as a pole.
Tomorrow, you will get a text, and it will bE spelled right, that's me yo, certify ya soon
What is a foreign vacation of stupidity without some fake names?
Showing up to Easter hungover, late, and covered in black an blues from pole dancing. Daughter of the year.
He looks like he was the one that always had koolaid stains around his mouth as a kid, he can fuck off.
He just asked me to be his girlfriend while having sex on his parents kitchen counter
Car is still out of commission. Looks like it's Grape Nuts and scotch for dinner.
I said no to friends with benefits because it was too much commitment
You okay? Last night you climbed through my window and demanded I take shots with you and when I refused you took a piss in my front yard.
that's your fault. you refused to take shots with me.
i now regret my decision on turning down your offer of sex in the backseat
She made me baby bird juul smoke to her while we were fucking
On a scale of 1 to hungover I’m definitely throwing up at the office today.
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