i don't remember her name, but i don't need it unless we decide to hook up again. but even then, i can get away with not knowing it for a while. it's not like we have actual conversations.
and then he ordered a "diet and rum" like the most important part of the drink was the diet.
you googled "nude photos of celebrities you wouldn't expect to have nude photos", puked into the beer bong, and then laughed
i just saw a man pushing two thirtys of beers in a stroller while his little kid ran to keep up. father of the year
Oh btw I took the eighth out of the plastic wrap so I could use it to wrap my red pepper. This can be seen as either pathetic or resourceful.
don't forget friday is see who can get the most free drinks at the gay bar contest. winner gets $50
This santa hat i wore to the bar, served it's dual purpose as a vomit bag.
She was kinda cute. So long as you don't mind neck tattoos and bad life choices.
She stumbled into class and Google image searched nipple piercings for the entire 75 minutes
Friend as in 'I used to have sex with her' or friend as in 'I still want to have sex with her'?
If it exists, I've probably pregamed it.
Fuck it. I'm going for it. You're only young once, right?
You've been saying that for 5 years now. Let me know when the novelty wears off.
Listen, you can either give me drugs or an orgasm. You decide.
look, bitch. one day when everyone i care about deserts me for my severe moral depravity, you're going to be the only one i have.
i can't wait.
I can't imagine a friend I would rather lose my virginity to in a threesome.
Randomize
