she is graduated, working for the school, and puking in the bathroom of a frat house. she wants brush her hair so she doesnt "look trashy". im in love.
I wasn't on board with that statement until "home made dinosaurs"
your stepbrother is rimming his martinis with coke... keeps saying "thank god its tuesday". where does funemployment end and intervention begin?
at john mayer concert. alone. to many highschool kids. i feel like a drunk chaperone with a pomegranite martini mustache
Do you remember giving me altiods and wishing me good luck on the walk home?
We were naked in bed for hours and we didn't have sex. Either he's gay or he wants to respect me. Neither of which I approve of.
I'm really having trouble focusing on shark week with this erection
Just ate a gummy bear I found in my sheets. So yeah, 2013 is SO gonna be my year.
They're fighting and it sounds intense. Cross your fingers for their demise
Toss in some raw meat and play heavy metal music. It will insight violence.
I ended up in bed with a man from London in a sorority wing I am not apart of. Tequila fucks you up
You're best friend just tackled me....naked....brought me to his room where he had freshly baked cinnamon rolls. I didn't know he could cook
I encourage you to ignore feeling. Drinking more helps
He woke up to me masturbating during the presidential address. Now he won't stop making jokes.
I just realized that Margarita Wednesdays are so much better now when followed by No Work Thursdays.
I paid for lunch, then he made a bunch of holes in my wall and destroyed my bathroom.
Randomize
