she didnt even puke last nite, shes finally hit champion status. i think im in love
Prereq for being on nyc prep: money, bitchy, and a lazy eye... if only you were rich
He just seriously used the word "skeet." Can we please find another way to get weed?
No. Take one for the team.
Is it bad to go up to the security desk and ask them for the name of the guy I signed in last night? I have absolutley no clue
Mowing drunk should be an olympic sport...
You kept screaming "Its taco night!" before every shot
Also, never say you're cool with a threesome if they ask. That shit's a trap.
Where are you? This girl fell on a baby. She is just gone. Please Hurry
Dude. She just shit herself.
He has in a pan: ten pieces of bacon, two cloves of garlic, an egg (not scrambled or hard boiled, just an egg) and frozen corn.
This is what you sent me from the other side of the pool, "Idk but thers a pool n l wanna get naked take off my trunks ill paddle with my dick"
I'm a hopeless romantic that likes rough sex. Judge me
I disagree, if your last name is Weiner then the sending of dick pics should be mandatory. I'd give him a pass.
Hey by the way did you notice my third nipple in my snapchat
I lost my bra, he lost his virginity. Seems like a fair trade off.
i just need to find someone who enjoys eating frozen waffles as much as I do. It will be perfect.