Oh man I wish you'd been in the car w/ me today. I followed a school bus home filled w/ young boys and I flipped them off the entire way. They loved it.
im having a hard time not telling ppl about ur bathroom story
just saw a couple drunkenly stumble over to the family planning aisle of Walgreens. inspiring.
He's got a wife and three kids but I'm into being that mistake.
I was so drunk. I apparently did a flip over the balcony using it as monkey bars. Ya I hurt a bit today
someone made her a trophy at 4 in the morning and presented it to her in the bathtub
She asked if I could convince him so shave that shit off his face so he'll have a snowball's chance in hell of getting laid.
Was my shirt on fire at any point last night? Because I'm fairly sure my shirt was on fire.
He recreated the night that started all my mothers days. We shared a joint, drank Boones Farm, and dry humped to the Beastie Boys. Then I cried over MCA's death. Best. Gift. Ever.
I know, my friend Erin took me into the bathroom at work and poured pickle juice on me.
Had a turkey baster with clean pee in it in my pants to pass a drug test, and the bottom fell off, so yeah I'm pretty pissed.
I've been back for one day and I've already given two bjs. Improvement from last year.
She said she is going to be sex-slave version of Princess Leia for halloween. You think there is any way I could pull off an attractive Jabba suit?
I haven't included my nuts in a shave since the Shaq/kobe Lakers era. I gave my self the ol full court press in order to change the tempo.
I'm fucking sick of guys. I think I'm going to date myself. No drama. And I know I'll always put out.