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• (845): View more from New York

  I was in the bathroom and her cat just looked at my penis with a profound hatred.

  Fav 11 1358 2236

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• (703): View more from Virginia

  If a guy called my cleavage "mesmerizing" but is kinda related to me, does it still count?

  Fav 24 954 3297

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• (305): View more from Florida

  nothing this campus sells is worth it. not even sex.

  Fav 6 1838 4664

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• (847): View more from Illinois

  i dont care if i have to wear a pillow case, there will be an open bar at my wedding

  Fav 12 5697 905

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  Here’s Everything Coming To Netflix This July

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• (630): View more from Illinois

  you were sitting on the floor cleaning up your own puke and telling my mom she should hire you as a maid.

  Fav 5 6036 1976

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• (661): View more from California

  I'd like to apologize to your liver. It sees how much beer i drink and gets jealous of how awesome my liver is.

  Fav 11 5901 1409

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• (267): View more from Pennsylvania

  I'm sober in pajamas at a bar. Nothing is ok about that statement.

  Fav 10 1630 3235

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• (435): View more from Utah

  Don't feel bad sweetie, you're not the only classy one in town. I'm still driving around with that tupperware of tequila in my cup holder from last week's Margarita Monday.

  Fav 4 1139 680

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• (940): View more from Texas

  I'm not about to serve this country to fuckin not have rum and cheezits for breakfast

  Fav 4 1559 736

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  19 Of The Creepiest (Most Inexplicable) Things People Experienced

  Read it at the TFLN blog
  

• (520): View more from Arizona

  U should feel bad.. u r like a sex politician. All talk and no follow thru

  Fav 3 902 1546

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• (218): View more from Minnesota

  is leaving the club to fk in his friends van subtle?

  Fav 2 667 523

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• (212): View more from New York

  Well sure, my hetero side is thrilled, but my gay side is soooo judging

  Fav 0 695 494

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• (317): View more from Indiana

  Your poor dick will look at you and scowl for all the abuse he's going to take this week.

  Fav 1 288 142

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• (608): View more from Wisconsin

  You didn't throw up on me, you threw up on yourself and then tried to give me a hug

  Fav 0 95 138

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• (913): View more from Kansas

  I passed out in your bed last night...there maybe a snickers and twix bar under your pillow

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