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• (708): View more from Illinois

  Why did we buy the only spinning apartment on campus?

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• (603): View more from New Hampshire

  I puked a lego.

  Fav 10 2154 3021

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• (802): View more from Vermont

  does it bother you that i swallowed like millions of your unborn children

  (1-802): View more from Vermont

  actually, i try not to think about it

  (802): View more from Vermont

  and i pooped them out

  Fav 54 8372 2172

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• (920): View more from Wisconsin

  call me tomorrow and ask me about coke-whore stripper. It hasnt happened yet, but im sure it will be plenty disappointing.

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  21 Of The Most Impressive Things Ever Seen In Porn

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• (859): View more from Kentucky

  Ha Ha the cop that just pulled me over would like me to tell you hi!

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• (732): View more from New Jersey

  you rubbed the head of my dick and said "I shall call you Squishy and you shall be mine and you shall be my Squishy."

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• (260): View more from Indiana

  THERE IS PRACTICALLY A BEER FUCKING WATERFALL

  Fav 6 3361 995

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• (413): View more from Massachusetts

  afterward, he apologized, hugged me, and then gave me a granola bar and said “this is my apology gift.”

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• (607): View more from New York

  Hey. I thought you were saving your 80s playlist til marriage.

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  19 Parents Had Epic Reactions When Catching Their Kids Being “Bad”

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• (773): View more from Illinois

  Yeah...don't think he was sober. He kept screaming "I fucking love this game!". It was his Chase app.

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• (647): View more from Ontario

  You did profess your love for cotton multiple times and your hatred for all other fabrics

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• (828): View more from North Carolina

  You're married and I'm going to make out with a stranger tonight. Isn't that weird? It's like a gap in the time space continium.

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• (813): View more from Florida

  I found a playlist on my ipod with only one song on it: gold digger. confused, but not surprised.

  Fav 1 712 499

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• (419): View more from Ohio

  Between this new vagisil cleaner and these cranberry vitamins, my vagina feels like a new women.

  Fav 2 679 1014

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• (267): View more from Pennsylvania

  Yo whoever left a thong on the dining room table, first of all get help second of all please remove it now

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