smell like capt'n and strawberry champagne
We decided to have a girls night of four lokos, three of us cried and the other puked
no. it doesnt count as road head if youre parked
I used the lotion his mom gave me for christmas to give him a hand job. It felt so wrong.
Dating After Heartbreak
dude, apparently i tried to force feed my grandma bananas last night.
So the guy who is making our IDs is in jail now for attempted murder, with no bail...
So no fakes?
Also his beard was very delicious looking. I wanted to touch it so bad, but I held back.
Lol i have proven this trip that I can meet a chick and fuck her within 72 hours no matter where she lives
Sorry bud. Having a shitty day because the GF broke up with my wife and I. We really liked her too
These Images Prove Chrissy Teigen is the Funniest Model Alive
Like who needs a job and family when you can get drunk for free with strippers?
I'm just sitting here drunk and eating peas because my life sucks
Look I'm really high right now, and if I were to leave this house, it would be for the sole purpose of getting an ice cream sandwich. So can you please just do it.
Well I'm half drunk in a green tutu at a chipotle. So pretty good parade.
Idk how much of a virgin he is but I'm tryna find out.
I AM SMARTER THAN EVERY FUCKBOY WHO HAS EVER SWIPED LEFT ON ME