i think i'm in class. and blacked out.
we'll penetrate his innocence with our dicks
the trick is not to think about where her tounge has been.
Home, forcing the cats to make out. Someone should get some.
Suuuuuuper drunk and just sang fuck her gently to the chiminea. I'm in bad shape.
Sorry about that whole "setting your deck on fire" thing.
I will forever be haunted by the image of you hurrying to finish your Jimmy Johns sandwich in the Taco Bell drive thru so you could proceed to order $17 dollars worth of shitty Mexican food.
Shots. Renamed a guy (he looked like a Scott to me), running, bloody Marys, walk to Safeway, donuts, ride home from someones husband, Nurse Jackie. FIN.
Well he can play the xylophone with his erect cock... So he's got that going for him
He was in the middle of making out with two girls at once, but then the guy next to me said "I feel like I'm watching Animal Planet" he stopped to give him a high five
It's really not cool dreaming about going into labor with your ex boyfriends love child as you're sleeping next to him.
Her family was right next to mine during christmas eve mass. Between the terrifying glares and her trying to set my sleeve on fire during the candle part I am VERY sure she knows im fucking her ex...
I can't ever date him again. Whenever I see his face I just remember helplessly pissing myself in my car.
Did we have sex last night?
No. You laid in my bed and I brought you taco bell.
I do not love him. There is no love. Only sex and meatloaf.