if reincarnation is for serious, i better be a guy in my next life
with a huge shlong
massive. i wanna make bitches cry
Someone shat in the 1st floor west girls hall. Literally SHAT in the hallway
That's what she gets for taking his peeps.
They need a stunt cock, be about 20 more minutes.
I just peeled a layer of cum off my eyelid. Don't even tell me that's not why you came over
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No, he attached a coozie to his crutches so he can carry his beer around the party.
If i ever have a kid with an outie i'm giving it up for adoption
Its okay, i dont mind you drinking, im just surrounded by it, there is some random dude laying on your couch with a bucket that ive never seen before
He went 'unicorn hunting' and lost a fight with a fence. That's how he ended up in the ER.
I woke up at 5:47 in the morning to you peeing on my parents bedroom floor. I think we've established that you have a limit .
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im not sure what exactly happened but i may need help faking my own death
I hugged the bouncer as we left.
I think our prof has caught onto our drinking game. He burst into the room with a big smile on his face and yelled "essentially! Essentially! Essentially!"
He initiated the conversation by sending me a picture of his penis at 4 am
Duuuuuuuuuuck. and by that i mean fruuuuuuuuck. and by that i mean fuuuck
I had sex in a panda mask the other night.