i wonder why nobody wants to date me...im doing a crossword at work and asked out loud: whats a 4 letter word for 'a reason to get married?'
i was like PREG?
My nephew just came out playing with my moms vibrator.
my periods are so regular now that they are sync-ed with my subscriptions of vogue.
grad school is all the worst parts of undergrad, without the binge drinking and bad decisions to make up for it
19 Unhappily Married People Confess The Red Flags They Ignored
kicked my backpack and turned on my vibrator in the middle of class. success.
Just bought two budlight beers with a can of tuna at the bar
I woke up to him eating cereal out of my viking helmet with a shot glass. No idea where he got the milk.
No I'm not proud of you for not sleeping with him. He has herpes. You don't get a gold star for behaving how you're expected to. Trust me. I'm a teacher.
You dislocated his arm and then bought him two shots to numb the pain while you pushed it back in
These 23 People Destroyed Their Entire Lives In An Instant
Stand up sex. Extremely, extremely difficult. I now know how pointe dancers feel.
I am not betting on the failure of any friend that is not you.
What are the chances I get my period 2 weeks early just as welcome week starts. My uterus is conspiring with my dead catholic grandma
His encouragement of my recreational drug use is the backbone of our nonrelationship. That, and rough animal sex and loud music.
1. Why did we have the team Chirstmas party in November 2. Why didn't anyone tell me the coaches were invited 3. Why did coach get the giant vibrator I brought
I think I’ve reached sophomore-year-level of bad ideas
and you know that’s the highest possible level because it’s when I met you