im surounded by vag. Like smog aound LA, i am suffocating in an atmosphere of pussy
why do married chicks ALWAYS cry after?
even my farts smell like vagina
Her vagina is like Vegas. high traffic and full of glitter.
now that we've slept with the entire soccer team i think its time to expand the horizon.
Whoever said that remembering a girls name is a basic rule for getting laid has never met me.
I wasn't an ass in college so much more like I showed my ass a lot especially during serious beerpong games. You know I don't fuck around when it comes to sports.
Pretty sure I just became my mom's wingman
If our sexual relationship was relative to the Harry Potter series, I would have claimed the Wizard's Cup at least ten times.
Ever since the Christmas fiasco of '08, I can no longer watch Rudolf the Red nosed reindeer without getting a hard on
I'm about to turn myself in when I'm less hungover.
If you think eating a bowl of leftover stuffing and drinking champagne from the bottle in dirty sweats at 9am is sexy... Then yeah, I'm your girl.
He also reminds me slightly of a pirate which i find strangely attractive
Afterwards the first thing I said was, "You know, you're probably the first guy who has ever gotten laid wearing Star Wars pajama bottoms."
You said the best orgasm you ever had, you gave to yourself. your boyfriend looked really disappointed. so did half the room.
Randomize
