dude, you're never picky with who you hook up with, have a little dignity
nah man, chicks are like pokemon, gotta catch \'em all
why was he too nerdy?
he was a tetris block for halloween
Random question, how's your gag reflex these days
I just watched a girl use a tall boy Coors as a rolling pin to make christmas cookies
I want to fuck you on the side of the bed tonight.
babe, don't say it like that!
I'm sorry, I want to penetrate you on the edge of our sleeping quarters this evening.
While I was dancing with him in my foil dress he said, "You're like a Chipotle burrito. Don't worry, that's the best complement you could get from me."
thanks for brining me home and putting me in my bed. the pillow fort your built around me is also appreciated.
He thinks MY vagina is tight. That's saying something.
I tried. Now my legs are bleeding and I cracked my head on the coffee table. Never taking your advice again.
After a certain blood-alcohol level, the dog is in charge.
okay, please tell me Cammy is the one who put the picture and note on my desk saying "beat off to this homeboy"
jen just told me ur idea of revenge was saluting while letting his bong float away while attached to some balloons.
At least I made out with him before he made out with that dog...
I think your husband is breaking up with me...
I climbed on the arm of the futon, flapping my hand fan frantically and hissing imprecations at the smoke detector
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