I am engaged
To a real live girl that has met me
I've been congratulating people on facebook about their forthcoming pregnancies. I can't wait to see how this plays out
You know you're hung over when your pose in art class is lying face down on the platform
i think i scared a bird with my dick
"Guy Time" translaed into 10 shots apiece and me waking up covered in my own blood.
Day 5 without masturbation. Fat chicks are back on the table
the boys love us. they call us "the stoner girl suite down the hall". not very inspired, but flattering nonetheless
well the night couldnt get much worse after she peed all over herself and the sidewalk.
I just saw an appointment in my phone called "it's been a month" I think I drunkly did that after I slept with Paul to remind myself to check if I got knocked up... I'm smarter drunk than sober.
Somebody found our where I was and called the bar looking for me. When the bartender called my name I finished my beer and took off like a fugitive.
It's like someone is grabbing my scrodum with pliers and just hanging there.
You screamed "There's a potato in my anus" and proceeded to attempt to grind with the bouncer. Also, I'm pretty sure our Chem teacher was in the same bar as us.
You're like Jane Goodall in a forest of gay men. Someday your autobiography will be called "Bottoms in the Mist".
Just had an emotional break through with the dog. That high.
Newest quarantine problem - I’ve watched all of the porn. Like everything on the the internet, all the DVDs, mags, VR, leisure suit Larry all of it and I’m still horny af
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