Believe it's possible to jerk off while watching the food network.
I just blew my nose and little bits of weed came out.
A good ear swabbing is more orgasmic than sex with him
I had fun. Till he melissa etheridged my ass and came to my window.
your drunk ass trust falled a guy double fisting bud limes and as a result your head bounced off the patio table. So that might explain the stitches on the back of your head.
If I ever die and svu has to come to my murder scene make sure they know I don't wear underwear always so it might not be as bad as they think
I feel like i could break down a fucking wall with this boner
Soooo, coming over soon?
I need to shower three times. First to be clean, second to wash off all sins, and third will classify as baptism.
But I don't wanna live with them bc I need to be able to walk around naked and sex on any surface guilt free.
I apologize that you just fell victim to my random thought of how to make a blow job come to life via emojis.
So i know i said I'm turning over a new leaf, but i met a guy with a dick piercing. I have to sleep with him. For science.
Guess who just hooked up with a guy who was wearing a shirt from his mom's "dress up closet"?!
My mom just told me I look like darth vader. how's your night?
Love that I’m sending my uber driver a thank you message for taking me home via mcdonalds tonight before I’m messaging my date from tonight! Lol
Dear in laws. I am not spending any holidays with you. I dislike your company. A lot.
Randomize
