My bra smells like weed because there's weed in my bra
One minute shes telling me about her volunteer work then she whips out a 12 inch dildo
I may also break bread with strippers. Because it is passover.
Did they have a limo or was i just stoned?
using blue streamers we found on the bathroom floor was probably not the best substitute for toilet paper.
gladiator or hannah montana?
This is why I never have to ask who you are when I get a new phone.
Mother fucker, I knew it was bad when you tried making out with my car window
He keeps texting me videos of fish swimming in his fish tank, so I think it's safe to say he's back on weed.
Embrace your curves. Cuz we're too poor for a coke habit.
I need to be drunk within 15 minutes of getting home tonight.
The dick pic bandit just sent me a poem about showering..
maybe one of us should just pity fuck him and get it over with.
I just ate the lyft drivers bacon cheeseburger. Well fuck me this night escalated quickly.
We are the rockettes of vaginal bleeding
she grabed my junk and started making lightsaber noises
I wonder if you could get her in a metal bikini
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