I seriously love my fucking boobs. They are so boobs.
she farted while i was going down on her. not doing that again
I haven't been this sober since birth.
I've never watched DWTS before, but this show's got Pamela Anderson, Erin Andrews and Brooke Burke: 3 of my top 10 all time most masturbated to women.
In retrospect pumpkin carving while drinking Patron was a bad idea.
that was you who tried to jump in front of my car in the monkey suit wasnt it
I'm eating the rest of the Xmas shrooms and welcoming 2012 by communing with the pine cone.
ASS. GYMANSTICS. OLYMPICS. NOW!!!
I went limp when I heard her mom fart from her parents bedroom. It lasted longer than my hard on.
It's disgusting. He breathes through his mouth and just sounds fat. Plus he chews all loud and shit.
Just watched a girl lose her dignity at the corner...it's not even midnight
Jager makes that raccoon appear... The one that shits in a basket in my living room.
I've also stopped shaving, like, everything. I can't tell if I'm empowered or sad
YOU'RE NOT THE ONE BEING EVISCERATED BY YOUR OWN UTERUS SO GET SOME DAMN SLEEP YOU FOOL!
Happy 20th birthday! I hope you like anxiety and having your debit card declined at McDonald's!
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