Is there some kind of disinfectant spray people use? Why would anyone want to eat ass??
Lol i'z typing this with my 962 nose
962=my?
Yeah.i
No, we ended up finding him drunk at a bus stop downtown sitting on the bench asking people for chocolates and amazing stories to "rid his mind of his whore of a girlfriend"
I was too high to figure out which of the three doors would lead me to my classroom, so i sat down in the middle of the hallway and ate a twinkie.
i made two phi delts show me their dicks in less than 30 words! Take that twitter!
Ya I fucked her.. But now Melissa is gonna find out
Just tell her that in a man's never ending war between his heart and his dick... His heart never wins
shouldve known this week was gonna be bad when I threw up in my coffee mug
Smuggling a beer bottle full of vodka out of the bar with a tampon as a plug for the top of the bottle wasn't one of my classiest ideas... but your hangover proves it was resourceful and effective. Your welcome.
My lecture teach is passed out next to me. I think I'm doing pretty good for a freshman.
So he says "my girlfriends coming over so you have to leave but I love you"
Nope. Flying out tonight. Staying with my great aunt who is an ex nun turned hostel owner. Best and likely most dangerous St. Patty's Day to commence in 10 hours. IRELAND!
Be safe. And I hate you.
I swear to god if you eat that last piece of pie while I'm gone I will never speak to you again. I'm so serious.
she walked through the crowd, completely naked, slapped a pool attendant in the face and stole the towel he was carrying. she used it to dry her hair.
I need to stop challenging people to taking off clothes. I win too often
Kinda. I got kicked outta the bar, and then incited a riot until the cops came and I bailed
Randomize
