i cvme to yuor rooom...wherer are youf?
please be gone before i get back
First off: I'm drunk so fuck you. Second: you weren't a bad girlfriend. Tres: thats 3 in spanish. Number 4: fuck 3 Doors Down
and thats how i got kicked in the balls by micky mouse
i just put a booger in my mom's hair and i just needed to tell someone.
i was picked up off the floor by a stripper, if thats not a new life low then i dont know what is.
I don't know at least half of his name. I have officially become a statistic.
just gave another girl i passed on the walk of shame a high five
did you by any chance leave me that 7 minute long voicemail of you running and constantly tripping into bushes?
You may or may not have poured bacon fat down her shirt
I cant do that to my vagina yet. its my prize posession.
Well it's been 24 hours and I still feel like a mammoth sat on my balls
I'm still high with raccoon eyeliner eyes and chocolate all over my face and chest, clutching a mug of wine. Happy graduation.
Dude how much would someone have to pay you to get you to slide your vagina across a bald man's head because Honestly I'd do it for the experience alone. but money would be nice too\n\nI'm thinkin like 500 bucks. Maybe 700
Why are you like this.
SpongeBob is life. I once broke up with a guy bc he said SpongeBob was stupid.
Woke up on a lawn chair hugging a bottle of vodka. Hows your morning so far?
Randomize
