need another drink. this is the easiest way
Hey. Did u tell any1 that I use Nuvaring?
Cuz 1 of ur bf's frat bros just asked me if I wanted to "play ring toss later"
You nicknamed her "lazy eye" and were screaming across the bar at her to buy you a drink...
people at meijer look at you funny when you have 37 bottles of champagne in your cart.
it's official, i've been high in 26 different states, and three different countries.
My time here is complete. I think I have now thrown up in every major degree programs building
The engagement ring savings account is now the strippers and gin savings account. What are you doing tonight?
I can dry shave vagina like a champ
Remember when there was a happier time when people could all hang out together with out the awkwardness of the fact that she stole $1000 and cheated on a brother with another brother !?!??
My hair is crimped, I am walking with a roadie, and my vibrator is in my purse. I feel sorry for tomorrow.
We exchanged spring break stories last night. Open relationships are the best.
I'm getting paid over-time to sit on reddit and look at dicks and abs all day. I'm really happy right now.
We just fucked each other sober. #goteam
Remind me to tell you: When threeways go awry, my MLK weekend story.
just discovered a semi frightening wound on the side of my head that must have happened last night. if i die of a brain aneurysm, make sure they put "sorry for partying" on my gravestone.
Randomize
